I honestly don't know to start but a need an outlet to express my feelings of absolute loneliness. I am a man in his thirties and my life is nothing other than a complete and utter mess, and I am very afraid that it is too late to change it. To compound my loneliness I am a very very shy guy which I am afraid that 99.9% of the people I have met in my life so far either didn't understand the effect shyness has on me or have lambasted me very very hard due to my shyness.
At this moment in my life I feel what is the point of getting up in the morning and going to work. I am doing a job that I hate but I am trapped in it because of my lack of skills and eduactional background.
The one thing that I would love to have in my life is a girlfriend, someone you has a good heart, is kind and that can understand me without treating like s***. To be very honest I really like this girl in work and I have done since she joined the job a few years ago, to put it another way I suppose she gives me a reason to get up and go into work when I know she is going to be there. She is very beauitful and therefore attracts alot of attention from the men in work and with one in particular she seems to have had some sort of relationship which continues in some shape and form from time to time. He is very handsome, fit and has GSOH compared to me, I am unfit, ugly and don't have GSOH. She just sees me as just ( I hate these words with a passion ) a NICE GUY.
Those two words have been a cross I have carried with me nearly my entire life as thats what most people simple view me as, or the other view is that I am invisible to them no matter how hard I try to get them to notice me.
I am going to leave this as my first entry as I am beganing to get tired, I know what I have written is abit all over the shop but hopefully I will get better with time. Thats of course if there is anybody out there reading this.
The Lonely Guy.